What is Chastity Training?
Many submissives share a strong desire to further their level of devotion and submission to their Master/Mistress/Keyholder. These submissives crave for their Dominant to tell them what they (the Dom) like and don’t like, what the submissive is allowed to do and not allowed to do, and to reward these good behaviors, and punish the bad behaviors – in a process known as behavior modification.
Through this behavior modification process, the submissive ultimately wishes to become the perfect version of themselves for their Dominant. This process of training the submissive of the Do’s and Don’ts can be lengthy, lasting weeks, if not months, and often requires the use of a chastity device, such as The Vice, for the duration (and usually continuing thereafter) – this is the fundamental idea behind chastity training.
How would your “perfect” submissive behave?
The first step with chastity training – also known as Slave Training – is to define what you want from your submissive. This is most Dominant’s favorite part! Write out, or better yet, have your submissive write for you, all of the traits and behaviors you wish for them to adopt and display. Be picky here, nothing is too small nor too big. Keep in mind, your submissive wants you to be picky. They want to cater to your every desire.
This part is entirely what you wish for. It could be having your submissive open the car door for you, get on their hands and knees and kiss your feet to greet you every day, foot massages every night, cook dinner and clean the dishes, always saying “please” and “thank you”, running to the gas station to fill up your car or run other errands, or anything else your heart desires!
After writing out the Do’s, now you want to shift the focus on the Don’ts. What behaviors do you want your submissive to stop doing? Again, be as picky as you would like here.
This could be things like your submissive is not allowed to talk back to you, they cannot complain (especially when the frustration of chastity builds up), not leaving the toilet seat up, not watching pornography, not being distracted by their phone or TV when you’re talking to them, or anything else you wish for them to stop doing.
Using Rewards/Punishments for Behavior Modification
One of the two most important ingredients to successful chastity training effectively is using rewards and punishments to modify your submissive’s behavior to tailor them to your wants and needs. The second is having a clear and structured training regimen put in place (more about that in the next section).
Much like Pavlov’s Dog Training Theory, where Pavlov would ring a bell and then feed his dogs a steak, and after a few days they would begin to salivate at the sound of the bell, even if a steak wasn’t given after; the human brain works very similarly. In the training process, you want to use rewards and punishments in a similar fashion to associate rewards with good behavior, effectively training your submissive to gain pleasure from good behaviors. And punish bad behaviors so they associate pain or discomfort from that bad behavior, making them less likely to occur.
When you notice your submissive displaying “Good” behaviors, you want to reward them. The reward is most effective if given closer to when the behavior is displayed. This could be something small such as saying that seeing them doing this makes you happy, or you can rub their genitals while they do the behavior, or telling them they’ve earned some edges later. The goal here is to associate positivity with the behavior they are displaying.
In the beginning, as your submissive is adopting these new behaviors, it’s important to give lots of praise and frequent rewards. As the behavior becomes ingrained, you can ween them off and make the rewards less frequent, as this new behavior transitions from “adopting” to “expected”.
When it comes to punishing bad behavior, it works the same but in reverse. The first time your submissive misbehaves or acts against your wishes, you can give them a stern warning not to do it again or there will be consequences (this is optional, some Dominants go immediately to a punishment). The next time this bad behavior shows up, a punishment is in order. This can be writing lines, slapping the genitals, or putting them in the corner of the room for a time out (yes, adults – especially submissives – can and should be put in time out).
If any bad behavior is displayed again, the punishments should become increasingly severe. A few ideas here are: skipping their next orgasm, 1 hour of predicament bondage, leaving them tied to the bed for a few hours (time out), CBT, or spankings.
With punishing bad behavior, it is crucial that every single display of bad behavior is punished, and done so as close to the display of bad behavior as possible. If you let it go unchecked, even once, it will massively weaken the impact it has on modifying the behavior. It may sound cruel or harsh to react this way, but your submissive will respect and appreciate you for doing it, as it will help them achieve their goal of being the perfect submissive for you.
Structuring The Chastity Training
Now that you have your list of Do’s and Don’ts, and understand how to effectively use rewards and punishments to influence the correct behaviors, it’s time to structure the chastity training regimen.
Start off by creating a list of rewards that can be given for good behavior, as well as a list of punishments for bad behavior. Some bad behaviors can have more severe punishments than others (such as having unauthorized orgasms). Your submissive should help you create this list, and will be more than excited to do so!
Now choose 3-5 good behaviors you want your submissive to start implementing right away! It can be more if you wish, but it can become increasingly difficult the more behaviors you attempt to change at once. This can cause your submissive to become frustrated and overwhelmed if overloaded. Each person is different in this regard, so it’s best to discuss this with your submissive and find a comfortable number that will stretch his or her abilities, but not overwhelm them.
However, all bad behaviors should be revoked at the start of training. It will be easier to avoid the bad behaviors than it will be to take on and adopt new behaviors.
As your submissive displays the good behavior, you can choose which reward(s) to give them. Small rewards can be given often, and larger rewards (such as unlocked teasing, a ruined orgasm, or even a full orgasm) should be earned with repeated, continual good behavior, and no presence of any bad behaviors.
When your submissive is doing a good behavior task, and it is not done to your exact specifications the first time, simply let them know exactly how you want it done in the future, and expect them to do it that way moving forward. Failure to do it to your exact liking after the first talk should be considered a bad behavior and punished accordingly.
After a week or two, these good behaviors should start to become automatic for your submissive, and should be done without you asking. As this happens, the rewards should become less frequent. Give the occasional small reward if they are doing a consistent good job, and big rewards when they really go above and beyond for you.
At this point, you can now give your submissive an additional 3-5 (or whichever number you agreed upon) good behaviors for them to work on. And the process should repeat itself. As time goes on, and the chastity training continues, your submissive will gradually display more and more of the good behaviors you wish of them.
You will enjoy the benefits of having your submissive catering to your every whim, while your submissive will take great pleasure from the satisfaction they are bringing you. It’s a Win-Win!
In Summary
Chastity training – or some will call it slave training – is the process of using a chastity device along with rewards and punishments to modify your submissive’s behavior to become your ideal submissive.
By using rewards for when your submissive displays good behavior, it will reinforce this behavior, making them more likely and willing to continue doing it moving forward. They can even gain pleasure from doing it, knowing it will serve you better.
Consequently, using punishments when bad behaviors are displayed will associate pain or discomfort to your submissive, making those behaviors less desirable, ultimately phasing them out.
Determine what your ideal behavior traits are, and begin working on training your submissive with 3-5 good behaviors at a time, and eliminating all bad behaviors from the start, using the rewards and punishments to train them to become your ideal submissive.